Lately I’ve been a bit more, shall we say, pro-active and vocal on Twitter on a certain topic. I’ve been asked why I’m so fascinated with Trans people, usually as a dig from activists throwing something at me in the hope it will stick. Thing is, and I mean this with the greatest of respect, I don’t often tweet about trans people as a group because I’m just not that invested. As individuals I can be interested but overall, it’s just something going on in the world that’s always gone on in the world.
My opinions on Trans people are no secret. The ones I’ve known are people who’ve struggled with something I cannot comprehend and have gone through an incredibly difficult journey to find some measure of happiness or comfort in their own skin. I could never seek to deny someone that, why would I? But my not disliking an entire group doesn’t mean I should automatically accept all behaviours of trans people or their “allies” without complaint or comment.
When I see people advocating violence against women (or TERF’s which I now apparently am myself, much to my utter joy and amusement) I don’t see women who need to be understood, I see violent men.
When I see someone constantly telling someone to suck their lady dick, choke on their fat trans dick, or similar I don’t see women. I see aggressive men.
All around I see aggressive men demanding women obey them, accept their every whim, to see every objection or concern become a sign that a woman is an evil bigot for not instantly capitulating and somehow deserves violence and abuse for their failure to comply.
When I see someone telling a lesbian she is a bigot because she won’t accept the person on the other end of a cock is a woman, I see the actions of a bullying man.
I see these things because that’s exactly what all this is. “But you’re misgendering them!” someone reading this might claim (though probably not if I’m honest, why would they bother reading this?). Why shouldn’t I? Would I ever knowingly misgender a trans person? No, I wouldn’t as a matter of respect I’d try to get it right. But it’s a matter of respect and nothing more for me and if you act like a bullying man I will treat you as one and refer to you as one.
I’ve not exactly been shy and retiring on the Internet and I’ve called people some things even I’m surprised at. But the thing is I’ve never bullied people for not agreeing with me, never threatened them, never destroyed their livelihoods, tormented their families, or plain set out to ruin them. I haven’t done that because I’m clearly not a complete and utter shitweasel. I don’t threaten women because I was raised properly, I’m not in thrall to my own sense of entitlement.
I remember when we had a time of women commentators writing about how we men should think, feel, act etc I found much of it incredibly patronising. Why would a woman think it’s reasonable to tell a man how a man should think and feel? At the time that’s as far as it went because I wasn’t about to try and cancel people for such a thing. But now I’m wondering if they had to write all those things because of people like the ones I’m talking about. If so, fair dos.
So if I do “go on about trans people” I apologise if you tire of it but all I’m seeing is the abuse of women by men who claim they are the victims because some women simply don’t see them as fellow females and don’t want them in their spaces. And to be fair I don’t bloody blame them.
If you’re sat there with your “lady dick” and about to indulge in another long day of justifying your abuse towards women because “TERF” or your feelings aren’t being considered maybe, just maybe, you should take a minute to consider it’s not them. It’s you.
Finally, as honoured as I am at being a TERF I’m not a feminist. I’m just a man, a man who believes in equality and doesn’t want to treat people poorly simply because they don’t want to give me everything I desire.