Hi all, if you’re a viewer of Trigger Warning you have probably noticed that there hasn’t been much output of late apart from the Saturday night pubs hosted by SmokeSteve. I’m really sorry about this and I didn’t want anyone being confused as to whether we’ve simply stopped or can’t be bothered or similar. So, I’ve decided it’s best you know what’s going on. Basically, I’m just not well. I’ve been poorly for a while now and in the chaos of Coronavirus I’ve been tested, isolated, sent to hospital, and shuffled around. Turns out I’ve not had Covid 19 as far as I know, which is a good thing, but I also don’t know what’s wrong with me which is a bad thing. I’m not going to list ailments for you – even I’m not that old yet – but one massive issue is fatigue.
You feel weak posting that, like saying “Oh, I’m a bit tired so I can’t be arsed”. If it was just that I’d be happier, I’m pretty much exhausted. It’s not just physical tasks which do this either, mental tasks see me losing focus after a period of time and needing a break. I don’t know what’s going on but I do know that my heart and lungs are apparently doing far better than I could expect and that the Type2 Diabetes I did have is now down to “pre-diabetic” levels so I’m clearly doing some things right, it’s just that something is wrong.
Right now I have to put most of my energy into keeping a roof over my head, helping look after my Dad who is pretty seriously ill, and making sure I still get time with my wife and son whether they like it or not. This doesn’t leave much to do anything else. I’m not quitting, I’m not walking away, but I don’t want to just put shit out there (no, really. More shit than usual I mean) even though I do miss hitting the studio very much. Each week I keep promising Graeme it’ll be ‘next week’ knowing that at some point I’ll be right.
Anyway, that’s where I’m up to. I’ll stream where I can and I can only hope you guys will come and hang out again once I’ve found out what dreadful affliction is slowing me down and how I can crush it without mercy. I’ll stream where I can and continue being a pain in the arse on social media though so please do keep in touch.
p.s. Fuck your feelings.